Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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