Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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