just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
