did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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