everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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