lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
