just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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