Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize