White coat. Heels.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
