3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
