Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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