i barfeds in our rink
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
