this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
