Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize