im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
where does the pee come out of this thing
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
