ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
