she was so not down for the gang bang
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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