At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
