On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
