ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So here I am, sexting at work.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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