It's just like the Real World with babies
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
