Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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