You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
