i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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