Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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