3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The maid of honor just puked.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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