Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
