just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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