So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
