I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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