Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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