she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
