she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
