I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
