Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
