hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I need moral support for this bender
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
