new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize