Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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