Whod you bang
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize