yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
