Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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