Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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