Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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