I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
