is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
