before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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