Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
