My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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