He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
