My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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