Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
