But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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