Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
