Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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