Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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