I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You are a genius and a whore.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
