the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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