Sry I called you an 8
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
