a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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