I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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