I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
